Just Stress Relief

Wonderful Christmas: it’s an enchanting time when everyone is in a holiday mood. There’s friends, family, gifts, parties galore… for some of us, just the thought of all the stress we’ll face over the holiday period causes anxiety.

You can get stress relief at this time: it’s up to you, and the way you think.

Many people try their hardest to recreate the holidays using movies, books or childhood memories as blueprints.  This is the biggest cause of Christmas stress.  Relief is simple – stop trying to compete.  You are not obliged to be perfect; just do the best you can with what you have.  Having a happy, comfortable time is more important than decorations, gifts or the perfect gift wrap pattern!

Big Tip: Do Not Give Pets as Presents

This will give a lot of Christmas stress relief to you and your animal companions.  Christmas can be a loud, unpredictable, messy time.  Part of the fun is that you do things you don’t do everyday and this lack of routine can frighten an animal.  Also, picking a pet is like a picking a marriage partner – do you really want someone else matchmaking for you?  If the puppy or kitten at Christmas doesn’t get along with the intended owner, that animal will most likely have to be given to a shelter by Easter.  You and the animals don’t need the stress of sad memories.

There is no law that says you and your family HAVE to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day.  If you have family members who work in retail stores, food service or in the airline industry, they will be too exhausted to celebrate.  If you feel you and your family are too pressed for time, just choose to have Christmas on another day.  Seriously think about having it in January if the majority of family members have to work overtime during Christmas.  Stress relief is worth the breaking of tradition.

Get relief from shopping

If shopping is your biggest cause of Christmas stress, relief comes in the form of mail-order catalogs and online shopping.  Sometimes, for a small fee, you can even get the presents gift wrapped.  There is the slight chance that the package won’t arrive in time, but that chance is a lot smaller than fighting traffic, squeezing between irritated strangers to find the shop is out of stock.  Some people love being given a wrapped catalog under the tree with a note attached saying “One item on me!” 

When you realize that the holidays aren’t about how to celebrate them, but that you celebrate them at all, Christmas stress relief fades away.

[tags]stress relief, Christmas[/tags]

Stress is a mental and physical condition that occurs when there is an unresolvable conflict between “I can’t” and “I must”.

Neither of these two components is inevitable in parenting. There are many circumstances in which a parent will want very much to achieve a particular outcome. That’s the “I must” part. And, there are certainly many situations in which you throw up your hands and say “I can’t”.

But very few goals are so fundamental and so long-term that they should be regarded as overwhelmingly important. If they’re not overwhelmingly important, it isn’t necessary to be overwhelmed when striving for them.

Neither do the two components have to occur together. Sometimes, in fact, it will be true that you can’t achieve a particular goal. Realism is essential in parenting, just as it is in every other aspect of life. It’s also true that there are truly very few ‘musts’ in parenting. A great many goals are desirable, even worthy. Some are even noble. But very few are mandatory.

Educating children, for example, is difficult and hugely important. But no single school, at any age, is essential to a successful life. There are always options. Sometimes those require making difficult and unpleasant choices. It may require relocating, looking for alternative schools or even homeschooling.

But those choices need not lead to stress. Taking choices seriously doesn’t have to lead to chronic worry, insomnia, feelings of helplessness or continual irritability – all common signs of stress. It’s possible to regard a goal as important without concluding that one doesn’t have the resources needed to achieve it. Even when you don’t, you can often acquire or develop them.

Using education as an example again, many parents worry over how to pay for a good college for their son or daughter. But there are more ways to finance that now than there are methods for financing a house. Though, admittedly, the two are becoming about equal in cost!

Few parenting dilemmas are as potentially stress-inducing as a child who simply will not listen, particularly when their behavior is unruly or even violent. Here, too, there are rarely any quick fixes. But, as with any thorny problem, an attitude of confidence in one’s ability to find answers, and a view to the long-term, will go a long way toward minimizing stress.

When the resources for solving that issue aren’t immediately at hand, a confident parent will look for them wherever they can be found – friends, grandparents, counselors, Internet sites. You’ll find others have tackled the same problem.

Stress need only come into the equation when you come to believe that there is simply ‘no way’ to solve a problem you ‘must’ solve. Tossing away both those false alternatives leaves you still with a problem, but not that which only adds to the burden – stress.

[tags]stress, parenting[/tags]

Money issues are often stressful for just about everyone. But this is not inevitable. Many people, perhaps more in the past than the present, led very happy lives with almost next to nothing in the bank. And even most of the very poor today in the U.S. live infinitely better than kings of 300 years ago.

One needn’t go so far as to say ‘everything is relative’, but a sense of perspective is helpful.

Stress over money issues is no more inevitable than is stress over any other fact. Being concerned and being stressed are not the same thing. Stress results when a person believes there is no way out of a dilemma they simply ‘must’ solve. But neither side of that dilemma is cast in stone.

Certainly, life often presents alternatives that are unpleasant. One need not accept passive stoicism as the only option, though. The will to struggle can be helpful in a number of ways.

Both mental and physical struggle help work off the natural hormones that are released in stressful times. The effort put forth also helps psychologically, since passivity is an essential component of depression (a common result of chronic stress). And, of course, during the attempt to overcome a hurdle one often gains the knowledge needed to actually overcome it. The pride that results provides one more bulwark against future episodes of stress.

Those general comments apply to stress over money as much or more than any other issue. Millions get into situations of excessive debt every year. Credit cards and other temptations of ‘easy money’ are ubiquitous in today’s society. But millions get out of debt, too.

Family arguments over money are one of the most common causes of stress. When two people disagree over how to spend limited funds, conflict is inevitable. But, that conflict need not lead to stress. Realism, long-term planning, a willingness to compromise and respect for another’s point of view can go a long way toward minimizing stress.

Sometimes it helps simply to put aside a certain percentage of the income for ‘anything in the world you want to happen today’. Indulging the occasional whim, and realizing it rarely leads to huge loss, can help relieve the pressure.

Once you have enough money to ensure basic survival, which all but a small percentage do, the rest is optional. No need to stress over that.

[tags]money, finances, stress relief[/tags]